7/1 Intake (Binge Included)

Breakfast:

Flour Tortilla - 190

Black Beans - 72

Corn - 60

Egg - 70

Salsa - 30

Morning Snack:

Chobani Greek Yogurt - 100

Lunch:

Flatbread - 100

Hommus - 70

Fruit Cup - 40

Lettuce - 4

Tofurky - 40

Cheese - 70

Afternoon Snack:

Baby Carrots - 35

Dinner:

Swordfish - 219

Corn - 80

Nectarine - 63

Pre Binge Total: 1243

Binge:

Cucumber - 23

Hummus - 140

Salsa - 45

Chips - 140

Oatmeal Cream Pie - 310

Corn - 120

Hot Dog Bun - 130

Mayo - 35

Nutty Bar - 310

Granola Bar - 160

Binge Total: 1413

Post Binge Total: 2656

     Yeah I fucking binged yesterday. I was laying in bed telling myself not to eat and then I was just like "fuck it I'll have just some veggies" and then that turned into 1413 calories of absolute shit. 58 grams of fat in that binge. Ugh. I'm so bad with eating at night. I just get bored and there's nothing else to do. My plan today is to go out so that I don't get too bored. I might go buy some things at the mall. Then by the time I get back and do my normal routine (cleaning, blogging, etc.) it will be late enough to go to bed and I can avoid the nightly temptation. Then if I can get used to not eating at night, I won't even want to!

Weekly Wednesday Weigh-In - 9

Last Weight: 117.6

Todays Weight: 117.8

Difference: +0.2

Last Goal: 115.6

Goal Met? No

New Goal: 116.8 by 7/9

     Pretty much the same since last week. I blame the drugs I was on for making me gain weight. Now it's time to get it off. Even though I'm not restricting too much, MFP says that I should still lose 0.9lbs a week while eating 1200 calories a day. I'm also exercising so that definitely helps. My weight was a pound more yesterday and I think the jog I went for really helped to get it off. Also, I'm sorry I didn't get to posting pictures yesterday. My camera battery died and it takes forever to charge. I will 100% do them today though.

Weekly Goals

     Kicking my butt into gear for July! I weighed in today verrryyy high and I'm really sad about it. I'm seeing R this weekend so I'm gunna go hard this week.
 Today:
- Take "before" pics and post them
- Don't eat after dinner
- Run at least 1 mile
Wednesday:
- Cut calories at breakfast
- 2 sets of leg workout
- morning cardio
Thursday:
- Run at least 1 mile
- Morning cardio
Friday:
- 3 sets arm workout
- morning cardio
- conserve calories for alcohol
Saturday: 
- run 1 mile in the morning
- crunches, pushups, squats before seeing R
- eat light before going
Sunday:
- rest day
- if get home early, take a walk at night
     It's going to be hard, because I've been binging so much. I've gotten into the habit of plopping in front of the TV and watching Law & Order while eating until I want to vomit. R is my motivation this week. I keep saying little reminders in my head. I also keep telling myself that if I work hard now, it'll be easier down the road. Like, if I stick to this weeks workouts then next weeks will feel easier. Anyways, I'm taking "before" pics before I go for my run later and I'll try to get them up tonight!

Plan for July

     Seeing as it's the last day of June, I thought that I'd post my diet / fitness plan for July. I'm trying to keep it as healthy as possible, which is difficult for me, but I know it will make me feel better overall.
     Diet Plan: I'm planning on starting the month eating 1200 calories a day. I need to be eating a healthy amount while I'm still recovering from Lyme Disease. If I'm not losing weight, then I will decrease my intake after I'm off antibiotics. I'm going to eat 3 meals a day and two snacks. Every meal will be planned. I'm also trying to incorporate more protein into my diet.
     Fitness Plan: I want to be working out 6 days a week. This is my main focus for the month. Since I'm going to be eating more than usual, I want to take this chance to work on building my muscles up. Monday is ab day. Tuesday is cardio. Wednesday is leg day. Thursday is cardio. Friday is arm day. Saturday is cardio. Sunday is rest day. The exercises I have planned are mostly beginner exercises. I'm really excited to start getting fit instead of skinny.
     I know it's going to be really hard.  I keep reminding myself that I need to eat and exercise in order to be happy and healthy. All I've wanted to do lately is purge, but I can't throw up my antibiotics. Planning my meals ahead really helps with not binging. I'm still having trouble with my night time emotional eating. I'm making sure I don't do that the entire July though. I'm excited.

Glasses and Doctors

     As I mentioned in yesterday's post I had to go back to the GP for a review of how I'm doing with Lyme disease and Bell's Palsy. Basically, nothing has changed. They told me that it's going to take a few more weeks at least for me to look normal again. My GP said that as long as I'm not getting any worse, then they're not worried about me. I come off Prednisone on Sunday, but I still have 2 more weeks of anti-biotics to take.
     Also, I got glasses yesterday! I still don't know how I feel about them. I'll post a pic maybe when my face is less crooked. It's amazing though. I didn't realize how poor my eyesight was until I put them on. Everything was so crisp! I don't need to wear them all the time, because I only need them for distance, so I don't have to wear them at work, which is nice. I'm just really happy to be able to see!!

Baby Steps I Guess?

     Yesterday wasn't all that bad. I mean I binged... but it happens. Sigh. I'm working on it. I totaled at about 1484 calories. It was 867 before my binge. That's a 617 calorie binge. Gross. I mean 1/3 of it was alcohol. Woops. I went out with Romeo last night and decided I wanted to drink the whiskey I had in my purse for the past 2 weeks. And then I had a glass of Chardonnay (and he had the rest of the bottle). I was a little tipsy and when I got home I went straight for the fridge. I just shoved my face full of bread and cheese.
     But there is a positive side!! I ate healthy the rest of the day. Egg whites for breakfast. Greek yogurt for snack. Flat bread tofurkey sandwich and fruit for lunch. Baby carrots for snack. A veggie burger and veggies for dinner. I love making my own food. I think it's part of my control issues. I also exercised yesterday. I did a short morning workout and then 2 sets of my leg workout. I am sore today!! But it feels really good.
     I'm also in a really good mood today. Starting my day with a meal and a workout really makes a difference. I also want to start adding in a little bit of yoga to my daily routine. Hanging out with Romeo also helped me feel better. He's been really nice with the whole "my face is fucked up looking" thing.
     I'm going back to see my GP today so they can monitor my Lyme and Bell's recovery. My dad wants me to get an MRI and see a neurologist, but I really don't want to. I'd like to stay as far away from the hospital as possible. If my GP wants me to see a specialist then I will, but I don't think there's really much they can do for me.

Goals for the Week

     Instead of doing a weigh-in today, I'm just going to make a list of goals for the week. I don't want to look at my weight because I need to be worrying about my health more than how I look. Also, the drugs I'm on for my Bell's Palsy are making me very emotional and I don't need anymore stress. So, goals for the week so that I can weigh-in next week!

• Eat balanced. I don't want to restrict while I'm still trying to beat Lyme disease. So I want to eat healthy and balanced. 3 meals a day and 2 snacks, roughly around 1200 calories. I usually do really well until night time. Then I get bored and stressed out. I need to find other things to do at night!!
• Back to Exercise! I'm starting my exercise routine back up again. I'm limiting running though because it bothers my eye. I'm going to start my weight lifting back up though now that I'm starting to get more energy.
• Earlier mornings! I've actually been doing pretty well with waking up earlier. A little exercise in the morning definitely helps and so does playing with my cat. 
• More positive thinking. I'm thinking about printing out some positive quotes and hanging them up or putting little notes places to try to help myself be more positive. I haven't been in therapy in 2 months and it's getting hard, but with only 2 months left of summer, I don't want to bother.

     That's it for now. I'm trying to get healthy again and get my energy back still. I stop the Prednisone the end of this week, so hopefully my mood will improve after that!!