7/18 Daily Intake

Breakfast:

Diet Coke - 0 

Cereal Bar - 90

Lunch:

Apple Sauce - 50

Cucumber - 8

Baby Spinach - 5

Cottage Cheese - 40

Carrots - 21

Dinner:

Baby Spinach - 12

Carrots - 10

Cucumber - 8

Onion - 8

Whole Wheat Rotini - 210

Morning Start Not-Meat Crumbles - 80

Tomato Sauce - 80

Snacks:

Tootsie Rolls - 47

Total:

670

Exercise:

663

Net:

7

     We had no food for me to make for dinner and I got wicked pissed off so I just made pasta. And I know it's hella calories, but I burned a ton at work and I don't plan on eating anything else today. I don't know if I'll be able to make an intake post, or any posts, until Sunday because my boyfriend is staying for the weekend. But feel free to follow me on MyFitnessPal. I will be logging my food there! 

Restaurants & EDs

     If you have an ED, you know that restaurants can be hell. Walk in, and all of a sudden, panic attack. This weekend my boyfriend is staying with me, and all he wants to do is go out to eat! It's fattening AND expensive. [I don't make him always pay because my job is better ;p] So some advice:

1. If you can, eat at home. Offer to cook something! Then you at least know what is going into it and you can control your portion.
2. If you have no choice but to go out, say for a friends birthday, look up the menu and nutrition before hand. Pick out a couple options, just in case you can't get your first pick. 
3. Picked this up from dieting family members: When you First get your food, divide it in half. Eat one half and bring the other half home where you can do what you please with it (eat it the next day, give it to your mom, throw it away)
4. Order an appetizer as your meal. Appetizers are usually much smaller portions
5. Don't eat the sides. If your meal comes with 2 sides, don't feel like you have to eat them. If it's salad, go ahead. If it's fries, then you can pass.
6. Ask for a kids menu. My friend is 21 and orders a beer and then gets a kids meal! Much smaller sizes and cheaper!
7. Split a meal with someone! 

     Always remember that it's just one meal! You're life isn't over because you had a cheeseburger! I also wouldn't recommend purging in restaurants. I've been there and done that. I always freak out that someone is going to come in that knows me. And then you're all sweaty and smell bad. Just avoid it at all costs.

Quitting Smoking

     I've decided to quit smoking. And it sucks. I went for over a week without one, but then I smoked an entire pack! The hardest part is that I don't really even want to quit. I'm doing it for my boyfriend. He told me "I want to love for a long time, and I want you to be alive for it." So, it guilted me into trying to quit.

     The biggest problem is that all I want to do is eat. And when I eat instead of smoking, then I gain a ton of weight and I get super depressed. I need to Find something to replace cigarettes. I'm thinking like altoids.. Do they have calories?
     I don't think I'll quit forever. It will be very hard to go back to school and stay quit. Everyone I'm living with smokes. I might become like a social smoker. Like, only smoking on the weekends.
     I know a lot of people with mental health problems smoke, because it helps calm you down and it suppresses hunger. But if anyone is reading this who doesn't smoke, PLEASE DON'T DO IT. It's so addicting and it will hurt the people around you.

Body Pics

These pictures disgust me, but they remind me that I need to push forward and take the weight off. Please don't make any rude comments.

7/17 Daily Intake

Breakfast:

Diet Coke - 0 calories

Special K Honey Nut Bar - 90 calories

Lunch:

Baby Carrots - 21 calories

Fat Free Cottage Cheese - 40 calories

Baby Spinach - 5 calories

Cucumber - 8 calories

Apple Sauce - 50 calories

Dinner:

Veggie Burger - 70 calories

Hamburger Bun - 124 calories

Ketchup - 10 calories

Baby Spinach - 12 calories

Cucumber - 8 calories

Onion - 8 calories

Munster Cheese - 50 calories

Snacks:

Diet Green Citrus Tea - 0 calories

Tootsie Rolls - 47 calories

Sugar Free Fudge Pop - 40 calories

Total:

583 calories

Exercise:

-557 calories

Net Total:

26 calories

     This is basically what I will eat in a day. I would usually have cereal with soy milk for breakfast, but I haven't been feeling well and today I was very short on time. Lunch is almost the same every day. Dinner is typical. A veggie burger and a salad or just a salad or some soup is usually what I have. Sugar free fudge pops are the best thing ever. Tastes like chocolate ice cream, but there's only 40 calories!! The tootsie rolls were a splurge!

Welcome Post

     I'll use this first post as a welcome to my new blog, and also to explain what this blog is about. This blog in no way, shape, or form promotes/glorifies self-harm and eating disorders. This blog is simply my thoughts and my life. I hope that people can relate to what I have to say. So, welcome to The Diary of a Messed Up Teen! If you have any questions for me, then you can either leave a comment on a post or ask me a question on my tumblr [link in sidebar] and ask me to post it on here. If you find any content offensive, please notify me ASAP so I can review it.