Six Months

     Today marks six months self-harm free for me. I'm really proud of myself. It's been really hard. I had reached 1 year self-harm free back in November, which was the first time I had ever gone that long without self-harming. However, I relapsed in December.
     There are a lot of things that help to keep me from self-harming. I always think about how the scars will look on my body and how I don't want any more. I've gotten better at opening up and talking to people. I started saying little quotes to myself. For example, when R broke up with me I was extremely depressed. I thought the feeling would never end. But, I knew that it would eventually. I kept telling myself "this too shall pass." It helped me to remember that I wouldn't be sad forever.
     If you struggle with self-harm, just know that there is hope for recovery.

I AM BACK

     I'm back guys. A lot of shit has happened since I last posted. My last post I wrote some pretty depressing things. And I apologize for disappearing after that. In December my life fell apart. One of my close friends died in a car accident on December 2nd, and it was awful. She was my roommate's girlfriend and also my best friend's sister. The same day I was in the hospital getting fluids for being dehydrated from not eating and drinking. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me and we got into a huge fight. I got one of my friends kicked out of school by accident.
     During this time, I relapsed on cutting. It had been over a year since I had cut myself. I also got down to the lowest weight I have ever been. I started drinking excessively. I was hospitalized again in January. At this time I met a guy, R. I'll tell you more about him later. But anyways, I decided I needed to start eating and get the fuck out of the hospital. I was miserable for months.
     But, good news! I haven't cut since January 6th, 2014. I'm feeling less depressed. I'm actually quite happy. I haven't gained weight since I've been home from school. And I'm back here! I missed the community here a lot. I hope all of you are doing well!