Favorite Low Calorie Foods

     I always have to stock up on low-calorie foods that I can eat without feeling guilty. This is a list of my favorites, by category. Feel free to comment with low-cal foods that you like!
Vegetables: carrot sticks, bell pepper, mushrooms, green beans, cucumbers, baby spinach, onion, tomato, Green Giant steam bags, broccoli. You can make a big salad or you can cook up a BUNCH of veggies for a low-cal., yet filling, meal.
Fruit: Peach cups, applesauce, watermelon, apples, oranges, strawberries, raspberries. I like to have fruit as a snack because it's sweet. If you buy packaged fruit (like in a can) make sure it's in water (not syrup) with no sugar added.
Grain: Sandwich thins, Bagel thins, low-fat crackers, quinoa. The sandwich thins are 100 calories for one. That's like 2 pieces of bread for 100 calories. The bagel thins are 110 calories each. You can have half a bagel for 55 calories. Yum.
Dairy: low-fat or fat-free cottage cheese, low-fat or fat-free mozzarella, light Silk soy milk. I always get cheese cravings really bad, and fat-free cottage cheese is 40 calories for 1/4 cup. It's good plain or with fruit mixed in. The light soy milk I get is 50 calories for 1 cup.
Protein: Gardein Crispy Tenders, tofu, black beans. I'm a vegetarian, and I LOVE the gardein tenders. Trader Joe's has their own brand too. They're 50 calories each and go awesome on top of salad. Tofu and black beans make good additions to food and the protein keeps you full.
Drinks: diet coke, tea, black coffee, water, diet/light juice. Most "light juices have 50 calories or under per cup.

Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help

     If you have symptoms of a mental illness and you want help, then you shouldn't be afraid to ask for it. It can be very difficult to find the courage to seek help. This is mainly because people view mental illness as something for "crazy" people. But it's not. There are many people who suffer from mental illness that aren't "crazy." You shouldn't be afraid to get help. If you had the flu, you would go see a doctor. If you had a broken arm, you would go see a doctor. It should be no difference for mental illness.

     I know that seeking help can seem difficult, but it will be worth it in the long run. It took me years to ask my mom if I could see a therapist, but I did. And it has helped me so much!

• You need to tell someone. The first step to getting help is to tell someone that you want help. I chose to tell my mom. You could tell your parents, your significant other, your school counselor. But tell someone who will be there to help your journey.
• Have a back-up. If you're afraid that your parents, or whomever, won't think that you need help, then plan a second person to tell. Go to your school's counselor and tell them. They could set you up with a school psychologist or set up a meeting with your parents to talk to them about what is best for you.
• Visit your general practitioner. If you don't know where to start, visit your primary care doctor. They can explain what you're options are. My GP recommended a psychologist to me and helped me set everything up.
• Find a doctor. Finding a therapist can be difficult. My first therapist was recommended by my doctor. My second was appointed to me through the school. My third and current therapist I found online. One thing you can do is call your insurance and ask for mental health providers who take your insurance.
• Choose your plan. There are many types of therapy that you can go through. Psychotherapy. CBT. EDMR. Hypnosis. Read about what is offered and what will work most with your problems. Then create a plan with your doctor to decide what problems you're going to tackle and set goals of where you want to be in the future.
• Don't give up if it doesn't work. Finding a good therapist can be hard. If you don't gel with your doctor, then the therapy won't work. You can try to make things work out, but if you really don't like your doctor, then don't be afraid to switch. There's no point in paying to see someone who can't help you. You can find something that works for you!

How to Begin Running

     Exercise is super important. It's good for your body, helps you lose weight, and makes you feel better about yourself. A simple way to workout your whole body is by running. Most people think that running is too hard for them, but it can be easy in no time with the right preparation. Here's a list of things you can do to help yourself get into running!

• Plan where you're going to run. You can run on a treadmill or you can run outdoors. Determine which is the best choice for you.
• Get the right clothes. Sneakers are a must have. Try to get nice running sneakers. I got mine on sale! Also, wear a sports bra, a comfy shirt, and shorts or sweatpants. Make sure they won't fall off!
• Start small. You won't be able to run a marathon your first day. If you're really not in shape, try starting by walking for 20-30 minutes a couple days a week and then add in bits on jogging.
• Get an app. Apps are great for keeping track of your runs. I like the Nike one and Run keeper. I also like C25K, which helps your run a 5K in 8 weeks or something. I like the app because you tells you when to run and when to walk while you're do the exercise.
• Push yourself, but not too much. Try to run further or faster every time. However, don't push yourself too hard. You don't want to hurt yourself. Do what feels right. Listen to your body.
• Make sure your are medically cleared. If you have any medical condition make sure with your doctor that your body can handle running. I have asthma and always have to take my inhaler first!
• Stay hydrated. Bring a bottle of water on your runs and take sips every now and then so you can stay hydrated. Don't drink the whole bottle at once while running because you will feel sick.
• Always stretch. Stretch after every run. Even if it's short. Even if you're really tired. You will be in a lot more pain if you don't stretch.
• Have fun! Running, for the most part, should be enjoyable. If after a couple runs, you find no enjoyment, then maybe running isn't for you!

3 Years to the Day

     So, I don't know if you remember, but about a week and a half ago my ex came over. If you don't remember, read this and this. Ever since that happened, I've been feeling like shit. I've been smoking a lot again. I've been eating all the time. Non-stop crying. Well, this weekend I was with my boyfriend and I was thinking about my life and trying to figure out what was bothering me. Then it just hit me.
     My ex had come over on July 24th. I looked in my calander on my phone and went all the way back to 2010. On July 24th. And hey, guess what? That was the day that stupid fucker raped me.
     I'm so pissed. I can't believe he would fucking do that. Come to my house after 3 fucking years. I've been trying to hard to just forget that it all happened and now I can't. I'm repressing my emotions again. I'm disasociating all the time. I want to kill him.
     I'm so incredibly frustrated and I just really don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone about it because no one understands and I'm sick of crying to my boyfriend. I'm sorry I've been such a mess lately. I hope that I'll be okay soon. <3

Skinny Girls

Just posting some pictures that I like because I didn't really know what to blog about. I won't be able to answer any comments on posts until Sunday because I'm away for the weekend. I'll try to post something on my phone though! Happy Friday!

Something's Wrong

     I don't even want to talk about what I ate today. I had a nice healthy dinner planned. Mushrooms, onions, and an egg. Then I added some beans and corn. I ate it and I thought I would be done. But then I couldn't even control myself from eating one of everything in our junk cabinet. This happened at 6:30 pm. It's 11pm and I still feel like I'm going to vomit. I didn't want to purge, so I went out with my friend for a while. I hate myself and I have no control. 

     I think I'm repressing my feelings. I've had a huge problem with this my whole life. It's led to various eating problems and also my self harm problem. I hide my feelings so much that I don't even know what's bothering me. But something is. I've so disconnected and I can't control my eating and my bowels are fucked over but I can't do laxatives because I'm driving to my boyfriends tomorrow. 

     I can't put a finger to what's bothering me. And I'm thinking so hard, but I just don't know what. I hate my therapist. I decided that. I lied and told her I couldn't see her the last week in August. So now we only have 2 more appointments. I want to go back and see a counselor at school. They're much more helpful. They want me to get a full psych evaluation at a near by hospital. Ill probably do that some Friday after class. 

     I hate my brother. He's a loser. He's going no where in life. I'm such a perfectionist that its embarrassing to say that I'm related to him. He's a jerk. He's 17 and still thinks that he can be famous. Grow up and decide what you really want to do with your life. 

     I'm hoping that this weekend with my boyfriend will make me feel a little better. Even writing this out I feel better, so thanks for listening. The only time I feel happy is when I'm with him and right after I go jogging. Gunna try to go for a jog in the morning before the long drive. Ill answer any comments from today in the morning. Hope all is well. Stay strong. Stay beautiful. Stay safe. <3

August is Mine

     A new month means new beginnings. This summer has been strange. I feel that all I do is work. Also, I've been feeling very disconnected these past couple months. My therapist blames PTSD. But, I think things are looking up this month. I've been feeling a lot more positive lately. [My therapist thinks I'm having a manic episode but screw that] I have big things planned for August. I'm excited!
New Exercise Routine: Go for a jog twice a week for 30 mins. Aim to run further every time. Finish the 30 day squat challenge. Do pilates twice a week for 30 mins. Walk as much as possible.
New Diet Plan: Starting at 600 net calories a day for one week and then going down 50 calories every week. If I eat any over, I must exercise it off. I will not deprive myself. I will measure out all food. I will only weigh in once a week on Wednesdays.
New Attitude: I will not care what people think about me. I will wear what I want and do what I want with my life.
     I really hope that this plan works out! Does anyone else have any monthly goals?