Last Weight: 124.4
Todays Weight: 124.6
Difference: +0.2
Last Goal: 122.4 by 8/21
Goal Met? No
New Goal: 122.8 by 8/28
Another gain! No surprise there, because I'm a failure. All I've been doing is binging and being depressed and having panic attacks. I can't stand it. I woke up this morning and couldn't fit into my jeans, so I had to wear my "fat pants" which are usually super loose. Now they're not. What's really bothering me is that I'm seeing some of the people I used to be friends with this weekend. I want to be skinny to show them up. But, that's not going to happen. I'm planning on only eating 1 meal today, but tomorrow my dad is taking me to Wendy's. I hate feeling so fat.
I also hate feeling fat... Every summer since I went to uni I gained tons of weight and I was so self-conscious to go out of the house. Whenever I had to meet up with friends I'd start fasting about a week beforehand - sometimes it went well, and I could go out feeling pretty happy about myself - but when I came back home I'd start eating like a pig again. At other times, I binged and ruined my fast before meeting my friends, and I had no choice but to go out feeling fat and disgusting... I want to make this summer different though!
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT a failure hun. You can't learn to ride a bike without falling, so stay strong and keep fighting! :)
xx