Hospital, Ticks, and Bell's

     Well I guess on the plus side, I don't have TMJ. I have Lyme disease.
     After visiting the doctor and the dentist, they both confirmed that I had TMJ and that there was nothing to do until the pain went away. Then, last Saturday I go out of the shower and saw that a bite, that I assumed was from a mosquito, had a red ring around it. I knew that that was a sign of Lyme disease. So off the the ER I went.
     I fucking hate hospitals and the doctor I had was a huge prick. He was jabbing at my leg, where the bite is, with needles and it fucking hurt so bad. He was like "I don't think you really have Lyme." They took a blood test and sent me on my way. Still in pain in my jaw.
     Monday I woke up and went to wash my face. Soap got into my right eye. I couldn't close it. I looked in the mirror and realized that half my face was paralyzed. I went back to the doctor's on Wednesday. Right before I went, the hospital called me and told me that I did in fact have Lyme disease. I saw my GP and they told me that I had Bell's Palsy, which was caused by the Lyme disease. For those of you who don't know, Bell's Palsy is the paralyzation of one side of the face caused by nerve damage. My GP said that it could go away in a couple of weeks, but may also take up to six months! I was put on a course of steroids (Prednisone) as well as antibiotics for the Lyme disease.
     I have been so depressed by this. My face is so awful looking. I'm constantly hungry and moody because of the steroids. I don't know how long this is going to last, but I hope it goes away soon.
     My dad is also pissed because I was misdiagnosed and if they had asked if I had a tick bite the first time I went to the doctors, then they might have been able to prevent my face from becoming paralyzed.
     I haven't been to work in a week and a half. I have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow and then back to the GP Thursday. I'm going back to work on Tuesday, so I'll try to update more.
    Also, one more thing, FUCK HOSPITALS. I literally had a panic attack in the ER because I feel like I live in a doctor's office.

I AM BACK

     I'm back guys. A lot of shit has happened since I last posted. My last post I wrote some pretty depressing things. And I apologize for disappearing after that. In December my life fell apart. One of my close friends died in a car accident on December 2nd, and it was awful. She was my roommate's girlfriend and also my best friend's sister. The same day I was in the hospital getting fluids for being dehydrated from not eating and drinking. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me and we got into a huge fight. I got one of my friends kicked out of school by accident.
     During this time, I relapsed on cutting. It had been over a year since I had cut myself. I also got down to the lowest weight I have ever been. I started drinking excessively. I was hospitalized again in January. At this time I met a guy, R. I'll tell you more about him later. But anyways, I decided I needed to start eating and get the fuck out of the hospital. I was miserable for months.
     But, good news! I haven't cut since January 6th, 2014. I'm feeling less depressed. I'm actually quite happy. I haven't gained weight since I've been home from school. And I'm back here! I missed the community here a lot. I hope all of you are doing well!