Glasses and Doctors

     As I mentioned in yesterday's post I had to go back to the GP for a review of how I'm doing with Lyme disease and Bell's Palsy. Basically, nothing has changed. They told me that it's going to take a few more weeks at least for me to look normal again. My GP said that as long as I'm not getting any worse, then they're not worried about me. I come off Prednisone on Sunday, but I still have 2 more weeks of anti-biotics to take.
     Also, I got glasses yesterday! I still don't know how I feel about them. I'll post a pic maybe when my face is less crooked. It's amazing though. I didn't realize how poor my eyesight was until I put them on. Everything was so crisp! I don't need to wear them all the time, because I only need them for distance, so I don't have to wear them at work, which is nice. I'm just really happy to be able to see!!

Baby Steps I Guess?

     Yesterday wasn't all that bad. I mean I binged... but it happens. Sigh. I'm working on it. I totaled at about 1484 calories. It was 867 before my binge. That's a 617 calorie binge. Gross. I mean 1/3 of it was alcohol. Woops. I went out with Romeo last night and decided I wanted to drink the whiskey I had in my purse for the past 2 weeks. And then I had a glass of Chardonnay (and he had the rest of the bottle). I was a little tipsy and when I got home I went straight for the fridge. I just shoved my face full of bread and cheese.
     But there is a positive side!! I ate healthy the rest of the day. Egg whites for breakfast. Greek yogurt for snack. Flat bread tofurkey sandwich and fruit for lunch. Baby carrots for snack. A veggie burger and veggies for dinner. I love making my own food. I think it's part of my control issues. I also exercised yesterday. I did a short morning workout and then 2 sets of my leg workout. I am sore today!! But it feels really good.
     I'm also in a really good mood today. Starting my day with a meal and a workout really makes a difference. I also want to start adding in a little bit of yoga to my daily routine. Hanging out with Romeo also helped me feel better. He's been really nice with the whole "my face is fucked up looking" thing.
     I'm going back to see my GP today so they can monitor my Lyme and Bell's recovery. My dad wants me to get an MRI and see a neurologist, but I really don't want to. I'd like to stay as far away from the hospital as possible. If my GP wants me to see a specialist then I will, but I don't think there's really much they can do for me.

Goals for the Week

     Instead of doing a weigh-in today, I'm just going to make a list of goals for the week. I don't want to look at my weight because I need to be worrying about my health more than how I look. Also, the drugs I'm on for my Bell's Palsy are making me very emotional and I don't need anymore stress. So, goals for the week so that I can weigh-in next week!

• Eat balanced. I don't want to restrict while I'm still trying to beat Lyme disease. So I want to eat healthy and balanced. 3 meals a day and 2 snacks, roughly around 1200 calories. I usually do really well until night time. Then I get bored and stressed out. I need to find other things to do at night!!
• Back to Exercise! I'm starting my exercise routine back up again. I'm limiting running though because it bothers my eye. I'm going to start my weight lifting back up though now that I'm starting to get more energy.
• Earlier mornings! I've actually been doing pretty well with waking up earlier. A little exercise in the morning definitely helps and so does playing with my cat. 
• More positive thinking. I'm thinking about printing out some positive quotes and hanging them up or putting little notes places to try to help myself be more positive. I haven't been in therapy in 2 months and it's getting hard, but with only 2 months left of summer, I don't want to bother.

     That's it for now. I'm trying to get healthy again and get my energy back still. I stop the Prednisone the end of this week, so hopefully my mood will improve after that!!

Hospital, Ticks, and Bell's

     Well I guess on the plus side, I don't have TMJ. I have Lyme disease.
     After visiting the doctor and the dentist, they both confirmed that I had TMJ and that there was nothing to do until the pain went away. Then, last Saturday I go out of the shower and saw that a bite, that I assumed was from a mosquito, had a red ring around it. I knew that that was a sign of Lyme disease. So off the the ER I went.
     I fucking hate hospitals and the doctor I had was a huge prick. He was jabbing at my leg, where the bite is, with needles and it fucking hurt so bad. He was like "I don't think you really have Lyme." They took a blood test and sent me on my way. Still in pain in my jaw.
     Monday I woke up and went to wash my face. Soap got into my right eye. I couldn't close it. I looked in the mirror and realized that half my face was paralyzed. I went back to the doctor's on Wednesday. Right before I went, the hospital called me and told me that I did in fact have Lyme disease. I saw my GP and they told me that I had Bell's Palsy, which was caused by the Lyme disease. For those of you who don't know, Bell's Palsy is the paralyzation of one side of the face caused by nerve damage. My GP said that it could go away in a couple of weeks, but may also take up to six months! I was put on a course of steroids (Prednisone) as well as antibiotics for the Lyme disease.
     I have been so depressed by this. My face is so awful looking. I'm constantly hungry and moody because of the steroids. I don't know how long this is going to last, but I hope it goes away soon.
     My dad is also pissed because I was misdiagnosed and if they had asked if I had a tick bite the first time I went to the doctors, then they might have been able to prevent my face from becoming paralyzed.
     I haven't been to work in a week and a half. I have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow and then back to the GP Thursday. I'm going back to work on Tuesday, so I'll try to update more.
    Also, one more thing, FUCK HOSPITALS. I literally had a panic attack in the ER because I feel like I live in a doctor's office.